Motivation

I really do not like this time of year.  It is cold, it is dark, and it is hard to eat healthy.  I like to think of "comfort foods" when it gets cold out, and I like love to cook and bake around the holidays.  It isn't much fun to look for recipes for a new relish tray, or fruit bowl.  Not to mention, there isn't a lot of variety for these types of foods.  I did go to a healthy cooking class at my boot camp, and the information and food was awesome, however, it all reverts back to those two words. . . portion control.  I have none.  N-O-N-E.  If one piece of pizza tastes good, then I have more..  .lots more.  If there are "snacks" like chips, crackers, cheese, or any other salty, carb ridden foods around, I'm there.  It makes me mad, even as I'm eating them because I know they are not the best choices, and I know I need to stop.  But. I. Can't.  THEN, after I indulge, I beat myself up with endless amounts of guilt about losing control and falling off the wagon.  It probably isn't the same,but to some degree I can relate to people with other addictions and how hard it is to stop.  I know what I should do, trust me, I've been to more weight watcher meetings than I care to think about.  I am great at encouraging others and giving suggestions, but I SUCK at following my own advice.
Thanksgiving was no different.  We were in Alabama with Brady's family and exposed to A LOT of great food and believe you me, I tasted all of it.  The entire drive home I was obsessing about what I had eaten and the sad reality that I had only taken one walk.  I was craving boot camp.  THAT is the kind of craving I want.  Monday couldn't have came soon enough.  The boot camp felt wonderful.  I tried to work as hard as possible, with my brain constantly thinking of everything I had eaten, and how many boot camps I would have to go to to not only balance all of the food I had eaten, but to start the weight loss again. 
I am kind of nervous about not weighing in weekly, since I didn't rejoin Wealth for my Health for the second session. I can so easily rationalize that it will be ok to eat something and "start over tomorrow".  That is the EXACT mentality that has plagued me all of my life.   Hopefully, I will stay on target because I purchased a package of boot camps and am still planning to go at least twice a week, three being ideal.  I still like boot camp and the way it makes me feel, but I am very unsatisfied with how I still look.  I know that the weight loss being slow is better and has a better chance of lasting longer, but as with everything else in my life, I want results NOW. 
SO, I'm developing a "habit" of exercise, and would like to do more.  However, the eating and food choices still have a long, long way to go.  That only means that I will keep on keepin' on. . .