Bucket List

I have heard many people speak of their "bucket list".  I have never really thought about what I would have on my "bucket list", but a 5K would have to be up there.  Now, don't get me wrong, I have done several 5K's.  Several.  NEVER have I been able to jog more than I ran.  NEVER have I been able to keep up with my mom.  NEVER have I felt like I was a competitor.  Until today.  Today I participated in the Jingle Bell run for Arthritis.  It was a 5K and several WFMH people participated.  I was hoping that since starting my quest for a healthier lifestyle, I would be able to be more "athletic".  I knew I would not be running the entire thing.  I knew I would not finish in the front of the pack.  I KNEW I would finish, and I would work hard to make it competitive for myself. 
Thanks to constant encouragement from my WFMH pal, Monte, and my mom, I was able to meet my goals.  I jogged more than I walked, I landed a personal best for time, and I was able to keep up with my mom.  It felt good.  I don't know an official time, but even the unofficial time that Brady kept was still 6 minutes better than the race I did in September. 
Monday is the final weigh in a measurements for the "top 3".  I won't make the cut.  I don't even care.  I have not only gotten stronger, lost a bit of weight, and hopefully lost some inches, but I have met some great people who I have total respect for.  Friday night was our final WFMH team boot camp.  We worked hard, but it wasn't as bad as that first one, 12 weeks ago.  We were able to talk during the workout, laugh, and push each other.  Just like the race today, it was good.
I'm not terribly worried about Thanksgiving.  I am not planning to eat like I am capable of, I am planning to  get some exercise in.  It will also be good.  We have our final, final measurements on December 13th.  Those are the ones I am most excited for.  I want to know how the encouragement from my trainers combined with my desire to be healthy has contributed to my loss of inches. 
I do not think I am going to re-enlist in WFMH.  It has been a great program and really jump started my lifestyle change.  When I was looking back to decide what to do, I realized that the thing I loved the most from WFMH was boot camp, it made sense that I should just continue with that.  Twice a week at a minimum, hopefully more on occasion will be my goal.  My long term goal is to shave a bunch of time off of my 1/2 marathon time.  I am not thinking that I will run the entire thing, but with my friend Monte, we certainly will give it our best shot.  It will be good.  I would have NEVER thought that I would LIKE exercise, especially boot camp.  I love the way I feel when I have completed a class.  I love sweating my brains out and breathing hard.  It feels soooooo good.
So, weigh and measure on Monday and in the mean time, I will keep on keepin' on. . . . .

Give Thanks

I am giving thanks that tonight is over.  Boot camp was one of the hardest I have ever endured.  I felt especially bad (physically and mentally) because a friend from work went with me for the first time, and she had to endure the same workout.  However, I couldn't be more proud of her for hanging in there and FINISHING.  She was tough.

After boot camp, we had a survivor type challenge for WFMH.  It was 3 parts, food tasting, trivia, and a physical challenge.  The food was GROSS.  Pickled herring, pickled watermelon rind, some Indian dish with spinach, and two drinks, one of which looked like something that came from the toilet.  The trivia was trying to guess the "diet of the decade" from the 20's through 2010.  I didn't have a clue, but didn't really care either.  The physical was tough.  We had to balance on a piece of PVC pipe and balance on a partner while moving it about 20 yards.  Sounds easy, but it wasn't.  I was partnered with my boot camp buddy, Rob.  He made me laugh the entire time and I almost fell off several times because of his humor.  AFTER this, we had to sprint.  I came in second to last of my group with the sprinting, but at least I wasn't last!!  It took me almost the entire drive home to catch my breath!

Next week is the final weight and measurement to see who makes the top 3.  I won't be there (in the top 3), but that's OK.  I hope to lose lbs. and inches.  Boot camp again on Friday, which is the last one for WFMH, and then the Jingle Bell run on Saturday.  If I can just maintain some degree of good nutrition between now  and then, I will feel OK.  Nutrition is still my weakness.  We have our final measurements on December 13th.  We will be on our own after this Friday, but I am going to keep going to boot camp twice a week.  THAT is my new habit.  I am not sure if I am going to do WFMH next time, or just keep going to boot camp.  I do know that I am going to keep doing something.  I have a long way (weigh) to go, but I am going to get there.  I love the way I feel after I exercise.  In a warped way, I love being a little sore in the days following boot camp, it makes me think I have worked hard and am making progress.  Twisted, I know.

Tonight I was down 1.2 lbs. and that makes a grand total of 18.6.  Not bad.  MUCH better than gaining that much.  Time for bed, the workout(s) tonight have kicked my butt, and tomorrow will come way too soon.  Until next time, you know I will be keep on keepin' on. . . . . . .

retribution or respect?

Monday.  Boot Camp.  No weigh in this week.  (Good because according to my scale at home I need to refocus!)  I was 10 minutes late for boot camp. . . for some reason I was thinking it started at 6pm instead of 5:30, so I started the night out behind the 8 ball.  For a fleeting minute, I did consider not even going, but that was what I would have done in the past, but now I wanted to go.  WANTED to exercise, holy moly.  Anyway, I digress.  There was 1 of my WFMH pals there, and 9 other die hards.  The people who look good exercising, who look like they are having fun while working out, who rarely sweat, and who probably never crave something prepared in a pot of hot oil.  They are mostly the people who avoid eye contact with me, for fear of absorbing some of my weight, I guess.  Tonight our trainer told us to "pair up with someone of equal size and strength".  As you can predict, there was not a bunch of people fighting over my WFMH buddy and I.  I was told to be with the lone guy in the group.  Figures, I'm used to that.  NOT because I am strong, but I am built like a man.  (A BIG man).  So, I literally see the dude ROLL HIS EYES when he heard that we were partnered.  Our task was for one of us to wear a resistance band around our waist and the other one to hold as much resistance as possible while the other one tries to sprint.  I could tell that the dude was pretty confident he was going to not be challenged.  Game on, sucka.  I dug my heels in and pulled as hard as I possibly could.  I made it as hard as I could, and used every pound of my overweight body to hold that finely tuned athlete back.  Then there was retribution, leading to respect.  HE COULD NOT FINISH.  He couldn't breathe, he was sweating like a hooker in church (thanks to my brother for that reference), he was dying.  I was elated.  It actually gave me some motivation to pull him as hard as I could, to show him that fat people are not all weak, junk food eating, unmotivated people.  He again worked his ass off, as did I, but it felt good.  AND, at the end of it all, between gasping breaths, he told me "good job".  THEN we had to pair up for another resistance activity and he automatically decided that the tall, fat girl COULD challenge him a bit.  The trainer said we make a good pair and he said "No shit".  So, lesson learned, don't mess with the fat people because you just never know when they will use every fat cell in their body to kick your muscular ass.  Bring it!  I realize that I'm appearing a bit arrogant right now, and I don't care.  It was one of the best moments at boot camp . . . ever.  I may not be the fastest, or the most coordinated, but I CAN contribute, and I WILL work as hard as anyone else. 

However, the humbling moments still outnumber the overly confident moments by a ton.  I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror today and seriously thought I looked like a man trying to dress like a woman.  It frightened me, really frightened me.  I don't buy the whole "big boned" bull shit.  So, it only means I can do one thing to loose the masculine build. . . and by now, you know well what that is. . . I'm going to keep on keepin' on. . . .

Fall

Fall.  I love the word.  Fall means pretty colors, cooler temperatures, and Halloween. I also love the word Fall when it directly describes the scale on Monday night.  Tonight was a good night on the scale, and I have no idea why.  3.4lbs for a grand total of 17.4 down.  God is good.  I did not make it to boot camp Friday night (I was partying with 20+ first grade girls for Halloween) and I was feeling extremely guilty.  I then ditched the walking/running group I joined on Saturday because my fat fanny was too lazy to get there.  I did not eat well.  . . so it can only be the grace of God that allowed me to lose this week.  I know that this will not continue without more awareness, dedication, and work from me. 

I was feeling good about my progress, and then. . .it. . .. happened.  I was downloading some pictures from the weekend and there was one picture that I was in.  Darn it.  It brought me back to reality VERY quickly.  I still saw a fat chic staring back.  Now, I know that there is less fat than before, but still fat.  My ass doesn't quite resemble a fireplace mantle, and my back doesn't have such a large water buffalo hump, BUT.  It's the buts (and butts) that get me every stinking time.  I don't think I will be in any more pictures for quite a bit. . .it is not a proud moment for me.  I would rather just go to boot camp, try to eat right, and stay away from cameras and mirrors.  It is much less stressful for me.

I DID sign up for a 5k race the end of November.  My mom is going to do it with me.  (Thanks, mom).  She always is able to kick my ass in these races, so the goal I have set for myself is to keep up with her.  She is a machine, great shape, great figure, great mom.  I just want to keep her pace. . . . I don't have a set time I'm aiming for, but I do recall how long it took me to do a 5K in September, and hopefully I will cut a few seconds off of that.  I did join a WFMH group on Saturday mornings that is walking/jogging/running.  I am NOT going to be a runner, but if I can develop and maintain a brisk pace with walking and jogging, that will be a success in my book.  It's nice, because again, there are no professional runners in the group.  We are all non athletes with extra pounds, trying to avoid an early death from obesity related complications.  :)

So, brisk walking, boot camp, healthier eating, and avoiding cameras all contribute to my plan to keep on keepin' on. . . .

BTW, registration for the next session of Wealth for My Health starts soon. . .any takers on joining me for a second session???