Boot Camp

Boot Camp #1 was last night.  It was nearly Boot Camp #1 and only due to the fact that I have NEVER felt so close to death in my entire life.  It was a workout like I have only imagined and feared.  To put things in perspective, I have birthed two children, one without drugs, and would gladly endure that again rather than feel what I felt last night.  I have never wanted to cry during exercise, nor had to bite my lip to prevent the tears from coming. . . until last night.  Don't get me wrong, the people were supportive (OK, two of them were supportive), but the rigorous, non stop one hour of cardio and strength training was more than my body has even considered in twenty plus years.  I did things (attempted to do things) that I have seen on The Biggest Loser and wondered how those people endured that.  I was humiliated by my weakness and overall pathetic physical condition.  I was humiliated to be attempting to do a majority of this work outside and people on the Mo Pac trail going by and most likely wondering how long it would be until 911 had to be called.  It was THAT ugly.    I was encouraged by the 7 others that were in my class and able to carry on a conversation WHILE doing this workout.  My team coach, Deb, was in my class and could sense my situation.  She was so encouraging, and supportive.  Had she not been there, I don't know if I could or would go back.  My trainer, Lianna also was a gem, encouraging me and showing me modifications of the exercises to do, since it was quite obvious that I would not be able to maintain any level of participation with the 7 Olympians that were in my class.  She even emailed me last night with some more encouragement and suggestions for what to do on days that I don't attend boot camp.

SO, will I go back?  The old Robin would have said "hell, no" and headed to the chips.  Me, on my quest to be healthy and physically fit, WILL be going back tomorrow night, and next Wednesday and Friday, and on and on.  I WILL also be doing something on my off days.  This is going to become habit, just like NOT exercising has been a habit for so long.  (TOO long)  Will I drive home with my head out the window, wanting to puke?  Probably so, one boot camp isn't going to whip me into shape.  Do I feel muscles in places I didn't even know HAD muscles?  Yep, but I truly feel it is a sign of progress, a sign of change, a sign of health and physical fitness.  At least today I'm laughing at how I must have looked out there.  A tall, overweight, middle aged mama, trying to compete with these toned, young, competitive, never had to worry about being fat a day in their life girls.  I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the door of a building when I was doing side lunges around the parking lot. . . let's just say that any time there was a mirror or window in the view after that. . . I closed my eyes.  I felt like an ad for the Jell-O commercials "See it wiggle, see it jiggle".

Game on, I can do this, I WILL do this, and I will not be a living representation of Jell-O forever.  Bring it on boot camp, bring it on.

Until later. . . . .